Comic 35: Blind Belief

The NYT reports that fatherhood lowers testosterone. The scientists in this article argue that this is actually as it should be; when we have children, nature acts to make us less aggressive and therefore, better fathers.

When I was applying Rogaine Foam to my scalp this morning, this article came to mind. So I rubbed my scalp more furiously than ever, hoping to protect my little plot of land from further degradation.

Because shit, I’m already a father three times over.

- Sandeep

Issue 33: Cultural Pyramids

Earlier this month, Michelle Obama did away with the long and tangled history of the Food Pyramid, replacing it with what she and the administration perceive as a simpler visual interpretation of what Americans should be eating every day: the Nutrition Plate.

Neither plate nor pyramid work very well. The problem is that it’s almost impossible to explain a nutritious diet through a simple graphic, especially a graphic that treats all calories and industry lobbyists as if they were equal.

In any case, now that the USDA is no longer using the pyramid, we figured that it could be appropriated to serve other, equally important purposes.

- Sandeep

Comic 39: Breaking Bad

In high school, a childhood friend and I would race home after school every day, so that we could grab a snack and watch Yo! MTV Raps. It wasn’t enough to watch it, though. We would record that shit, so that we could rewatch the videos and discuss the nuances of what the hosts (Ed Lover, Doctor Dre, and Fab 5 Freddy) had to say.

For two nerdy Indian teenagers, watching hip-hop videos was really the same thing as playing with Transformers: pure fantasy. We watched rap videos the way housewives watched soap operas-to pretend for a little while, usually with a pile of junk food in front of us.

These days, the best I can say for myself is that I demand better writing, cinematography, and sound design from my fantasy worlds. It might have more nuance than Ed Lover, but it’s still the same shit.

- Sandeep

PS The next episode of Post-Nup airs next week, guest-starring former Penthouse Pet of the Year Sunny Leone. Make a note about the NSFW-ness coming your way.

Comic 36: Friendship Fructose

Without a major bailout, it seems the US Postal Service is about to go bankrupt. I feel bad for mailmen (mail people?), but I can’t really think of anything I would miss about snail mail. Maybe it’s just time for snail mail to rest its slimy shell next to the telegraph and rotary phone (just leave the light on for fax machines and printers).

I guess there is one thing I’d miss: birthday cards from grandparents, aunts, etc. Beyond the way their scrawled messages of love mesh (or don’t) with the stock birthday card they happened to choose, I also love the tiny bit of randomness-how the cards all arrive within a 4 day time frame around your birthday, because no one really knows how to time a letter.

When the postal service goes bankrupt, I guess the card-senders will just write on our Facebook walls.

- @soodsandeep

Comic 34: Mirror Faces & Das Racist

Girl sits in cafe; cute guy walks in. Suddenly, her formerly pleasant (even slightly attractive) face contorts into a strained pout. She tightens her body, arches her back, pushes her chest out, and assumes a pose that highlights her piercings, as if she was posing for the cover of the "Girls Gone Wild: Hipster Cafe" DVD.

Dude just got hit with her mirror face, and you can tell cuz he looks scared.

It’s like the hip-hop group Das Racist says in their hit song about working out & eating right: "Man in the Mirror":

"I’m starting with the man in the mirror; I’m asking him to change his ways."

Exactly, Das Racist. Can the man in the mirror change his ways? Because Lord knows that when it comes to the mirror face, we’ve all strained, pouted, sucked in, and surpassed Malcolm Gladwell’s requisite 10,000 hours for total mirror-face domination.

But, what happens when that mirror face fucking takes control of your life, your friends, and your job? What happens when that mirror face starts banging your wife? What then, Gladwell?

I honestly don’t know. And neither does Das Racist. But, we would love to see all of your mirror faces on July 29th at the Mezzanine in San Francisco. Das Racist will be performing, the Punjabi-funk sensation Black Mahal will be bringing the bhangra, and I’ll be premiering my new sketch piece, Fair & Lovely Inside.

If you buy a ticket, you get in free.

- @soodsandeep

PS Parvesh ...Read More 

Comic 34: Job Hunting

When you spend most of your creative time at coffee shops in Berkeley, it’s a constant struggle to avoid the instinct to sit around and just make fun of hippie chicks.

This week, I failed.

- Sandeep

Comic 32: Childish Things

In the Nintendo game “Double Dribble”, there was a spot behind the three point line that was always money.

The spot was located in the upper right hand corner. You could take off from anywhere, hang in the air as long as you wanted, and as long you found the spot, the ball would always go in.

That spot made the game really fun when you initially found it, but eventually it turned the game into a joke. This was egregiously poor Japanese programming (perhaps even more egregious than naming a basketball game after a basketball penalty), but despite all this, we would still play for hours.

From time to time, I’ve tried to find that spot on a real court. Not there.

- Sandeep

Comic 30: Married Sex

In 1936, Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood, went to India and met with Gandhi.

The two argued about human sexuality. Margaret Sanger defended sex; it is natural, part of a spiritual calling for men and women, she said. Gandhi would hear nothing of it, describing the sexual act as a carnal, lustful act that made real love impossible. According to Gandhi, sex should be used exclusively for the purpose of procreation and at no other time.

The Mahatma was rarely affected by opposing viewpoints, but his conversation with the feisty feminist “left him in a state near nervous collapse”.

Silly Mahatma.

– Sandeep

Comic 29: Playing Like a Rookie

Like most men, I’ve spent more time watching sports than playing ‘em. Sometimes this makes me hate myself, as I procrastinate on ESPN.com and obsess over the failures and successes of men I don’t know.

Every now and then, I try to kick the habit cold turkey. This often works, at least until the NBA playoffs roll around. Then, I’m right back to my addiction again.

Woody Allen gives me the best excuse ever for my habit:

You see, life consists of giving yourself these problems that can be dealt with, so you don’t have to face the problems that can’t be dealt with. It’s very meaningful to me, for instance, to see if the Knicks are going to get over some problem or another. These are matters you can get involved with, safely, and pleasurably, and the outcome doesn’t hurt you.

Woody’s got 99 problems, but the Knicks ain’t one (marrying his stepdaughter, though, that’s probably one of them).

– Sandeep

Comic 28: Back to Square One

At the airport the other day, I saw a man using an iPad 2 to play…solitaire.

I had to fight the urge to snatch the device out of his hands. Of all the things he could be doing with this breakthrough piece of technology…he’s playing Solitaire?

On an iPad or any other device, I always get a feeling of existential angst when I see someone playing Solitaire. What could be more depressing than a repetitive game of luck that you play by yourself?

Playing solitaire is like drinking yourself into oblivion at a bar, except there are no other patrons and the bartender is an Intel chip. It’s like watching the supercomputer trying to beat itself at Tic-Tac-Toe in War Games.

Chutes and Ladders, though, that shit is FUN.

I gotta go: they’re boarding Group B for the next ladder to square 52.

- Sandeep

PS. Alan Watts always says it best

Comic 27: Reincarnation

Comic 26: Nuancing is Caring

Nassim Taleb, author of the Black Swan (not that one, this one), offers this aphorism:

“You will be civilized on the day you can spend a long period doing nothing, learning nothing, and improving nothing, without feeling the slightest amount of guilt.”

I imagine that this aphorism was partly inspired by watching people nervously grasp at mobile devices, desperate for a little tidbit of something To varying degrees, we all fire up the informational one-hitter, hoping that it gets us through the next five minutes. Some people advise “media diets” to cope with this sort of addiction, reporting a better sense of well-being when they check out for a while.

However, when it comes to current affairs, our insatiable desire to know gets coupled with a feeling of guilt, as if our ignorance could actually impact revolution in Bahrain negatively. “There’s a revolution going on, motherfucker! How could you not even stay informed?”

So, we inform ourselves, carefully nuancing our Thomas Friedman with some Fareed Zakaria.

And now we know, I guess.

- Sandeep

In another aphorism,Taleb tells us to “Read nothing from the past one hundred years…”. So since he and I are still alive, nevermind all of the above.

Comic 24: Fakebook

Okay, so I never actually looked at that photo album you posted. I just “liked” it because I thought that would make you feel, I don’t know, incrementally more liked.

You are right that when I commented “Looking great!”, I didn’t actually see a picture where you, in fact, looked great. I simply inferred that since you were on vacation, you must be very relaxed, and therefore, probably looked great.

Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that there were no pictures of you, but rather, just of the surrounding flora and fauna (which, may I say, did indeed look great). I mean, people could have construed my comment as if it was directed to all of Hawaii, but you’re right, it would be weird to compliment a whole state, especially one that must already have high self esteem.

Next time, I will be more authentic in my liking. I’m sorry.

- Sandeep

Comic 23: Chick Lit for Dudes

A friend and I were recently talking about the rise in men’s groups, male cosmetics, metrosexuals, etc. He said that it was only a matter of time before male novelists started writing light beach reading (about relationships, sex, friendship, etc.) for men. Chick Lit for men. Dick Lit?

Makes sense, especially since there are already Dick Lit films.

Male schlub struggles, meets woman of his dreams, somehow courts, proposes, breaks up, or realizes he doesn’t need her despite being a pathetic schlub, and also finds his life’s purpose. Usually starring Seth Rogen.

This week, Omar realizes he may be playing the lead in his very own Judd Apatow film.

- Sandeep

Comic 22: 1000 Awesome Things

Neil Pasricha’s divorce and loss of a dear friend lead him to do what anyone in that predicament would do: start a blog.

His blog, called 1000 Awesome Things, is a tribute to all of the little things in life that (should) make us happy. Some of my favorites include #342 [Finding good reading materials in someone else's bathroom], #365 [Getting dressed out of the dryer or laundry basket], and #536 [When you're being chased by zombies and suddenly find a stash of guns and ammo].

This blog made me very happy, as did his inspiring TED talk (which has a moment where he has his parents stand up to just thank them for everything – add that to the awesome list).

I wonder whether successful marriages rely on a shared appreciation of the same types of little things. This week’s comic is about whether expressing that shared appreciation matters.

- Sandeep

Comic 20: Smart Phones

I’m excited about 2011.

Why? Because with a few caveats, every decade has gotten progressively better for the skinny Indian man.

Hunting and gathering is not for the skinny Indian man, for both skinny and Indian reasons. Early agriculture was back-breaking work. Even if you were a landowner or a member of royalty, you impressed the world with military force or acts of strength, rather than with feats of IT engineering.

So before you ask me to put my smart phone away at the dinner table, please understand this: my smart phone is probably smarter than yours. I don’t want to be mean, but it’s not just that I do this shit for a living; it’s also that I’m mad skinny and mad Indian. I’m already hip to your hipstamatic and angrier than the angriest birds you know.

With that said, I’ll put my smart phone away so that we can get back to dinner. What the fuck were you talking about again? Yeah, I already downloaded that app. It sucks.

- Sandeep

Comic 20: Mistletoe Belts

I heard a story about a convent in Nashville, Tennessee yesterday.  The Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia are bucking the slow death of most convents around America.   The average age of a St. Cecilia nun is 36, four decades younger than the national average!   These nuns play basketball and say things to NPR interviewers like “being a nun is better than someone leaving a message on your Facebook wall.”  Like, totally, nun.

Maybe this Tennesse convent is a sign of a nun resurgence, which is awesome for Jesus, because apparently, being a nun means “you are a spouse of Christ.”

That means Jesus Christ is the biggest pimp of all time.

It also means that a lot of women get to celebrate their husband’s birthday on December 25th.  And look, if you give up sex with all living men for a dude who died centuries ago, you have every right to celebrate.

The rest of us?  We have no clue why we’re celebrating.

Merry Christmas!

- Sandeep

Comic 19: Open, As In Closed

Like many of my 2nd generation friends, my father went to Stanford in the 70s, back when free love was part of the curriculum. His experience growing up in Uganda was so different from hippy San Francisco, that beyond growing a Jesus Christ beard, he was mostly lost.

So, he went back to India and married my mom, who raised my sister and me in a 1973 still-photo, freeze-frame version of a proper Indian upbringing. The short skirts and “friends with benefits” culture in modern Delhi and Bombay left her behind too.

Though their son was born here, he often feels just as lost when it comes to this kind of thing, which can cause him to refer to himself in the third person.

He apologizes.

- Sandeep

Comic 18: White People Problems

I was driving through Berkeley when I saw this bumper sticker on the back of a suburban mom’s minivan.

I was like, HA HA HA! What a white person problem! Only a suburban white person would care about something so inconsequential, like a frickin’ leaf blower making too much noise! Maybe it was disturbing her weekly walk through the woods, during which she listens to the Good Housekeeping podcast.

Then I got home, and my Internet wasn’t working.

- Sandeep

Comic 17: Your Very Own Reality Show

When I was a kid, I used to have this weird, recurring thought that maybe I was the only actual person in the world.

It was not quite The Truman Show, since I used to imagine that other people just switched off when their performance in my life was done, like the robotics drunkards in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

The concept is still fascinating to think about, especially since I have access to a nice range of intoxicants now (back then it was just candy and spinning around until really dizzy). I guess it’s even trippier to imagine the Truman Show version of the fantasy, where people are watching your life, reality show style.

If they are watching, I’m thinking the least you can do is make that shit entertaining.

- Sandeep